![]() If you'd like to understand my perspective I'm willing to share it.' However, I don't agree with this direction and want to make sure you know where I stand. ![]() She would not allow me to stand in my light and being proud of the wins - she just constantly reminded me that she was giving me these opportunities and I needed to 'know my role'.Īfter seeking professional mental health support, I realized that the only way I would continue to be bullied would be if I accepted her behavior to be the truth and allowed her manipulation to successfully influence me! So, after gaining the courage to start to talk to her like a peer and not a weak subordinate, I said, 'I hear what you're saying and at the end of the day you're my supervisor and I'm not going to go against your wishes. She interpreted my success as a threat and used it as a weapon against me - making me feel like an ungrateful narcissist for my accomplishments. Even with unprecedented results, she always thought I wasn't doing enough for the greater good. "For years, I was bullied and manipulated by my supervisor. Below, women share the first time that they stood up for themselves, and the impact it had. But that doesn't mean it's not possible to overcome this. This is a by-product of being raised in a gendered society, deep rooted with subtle sexism. ![]() “Males are generally more socialized to be assertive, ask for what they want with no apology." " We still socialize females, in general, to be more passive/receptive/submissive, whether in dating or professionally,” therapist Nancy B. Women and men are raised from a young age to learn different behavior - and young girls are taught to be pleasant, never raising their voice. It was then that I resolved to never to back down in a debate: I continued to raise my hand with vigor and enthusiasm for the duration of my four years. But the first time that I stood up for myself instead, I experienced a mental shift.Īfter attending an all girls school for the majority of my life, I remember entering my first-ever college (co-ed) classroom, and feeling overwhelmed by the extent to which the male voices in the room seemed to seamlessly overpower their female peers. I truly had convinced myself that when things go awry, it's always better to blame yourself and avoid conflict. The words "I'm sorry" felt as commonplace as my name, the response as deeply engrained within me as brushing my teeth before bed. My whole life I was instructed to proceed with caution, err on the side of politeness, and, when all else fails, apologize.
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